I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase “be thankful for what you have” more times than you can count. But when you’ve said, “I am grateful,” did you truly mean it?

In a world that constantly bombards us with negativity and fear, it’s easy to feel like the universe is working against us. Social media, advertising, and influencers create an endless cycle of comparison—telling us we don’t have enough, we aren’t enough, and that happiness is just one more purchase away. With all this noise, it’s a wonder we even remember how to be grateful at all.

I always get frustrated when people tell me to be thankful… Because it’s something you can’t force someone to feel, it’s something you need to learn on your own. 

My Wake-Up Call to Gratitude

For me, that moment of realization came at 28 — like most of my life-changing experiences. And it didn’t happen in some peaceful, reflective moment. It came from an unexpected source: a YouTube video.

I was on the train on my way home from work when my boyfriend sent me a YouTube video from the channel Diary of a CEO. This episode was an interview with one of New York’s famous divorce lawyers. I assumed it would be a cynical deep dive into failed relationships.

But I was wrong.

I listened to this man pour his heart out about love, loss, and the things we take for granted. In the interview, he was asked why he loves so hard.. His answer left a mark on me. I’ve clipped the video here: (watch this clip until 1:30 — or longer if you enjoy it!)

He spoke about how we don’t truly appreciate our loved ones until they’re gone. We get so caught up in daily life, in our small annoyances, in what we wish we had, that we forget to cherish what’s right in front of us.

By the end of the video, I was sobbing. I immediately reached out to the people I loved, telling them how much they meant to me.

Happiness Comes from Wanting What You Already Have

A week later, I found myself sitting by the water, staring out over Lake Michigan, marveling at the beauty of the waves and praying to God, something that always seems to calm me. The Divorce Lawyer video still lingered in my mind. As I reflected, a wave of peace washed over me. In that moment, I picked up my phone and, out of curiosity, Googled:

“What is happiness?”

That search led me to a podcast that changed my perspective entirely. It shattered the illusion that happiness comes from new clothes, a bigger house, or a better job. True happiness, I realized, comes from wanting what you have right now.

This moment of clarity made me step back and take a long, hard look at my life.

• I have a wonderful family who supports me.
• I have a partner who loves me more than anything.
• I have friends who would drop everything for me.
• I live in an affordable apartment in a city I love.
• I have my health, my senses, my ability to move freely.

I had everything I needed for happiness. I just hadn’t taken the time to see it.

The reality is, gratitude isn’t easy. It requires a conscious shift in perspective. Instead of measuring our lives against social media highlight reels, we should be looking at:

• The migrants on our street corners, grateful for the chance at a better life.
• The homeless person at the food bank, appreciative of a single hot meal.
• The women in the Middle East, fighting for the basic freedoms we take for granted.
• The friend who just lost a parent, wishing for just one more moment together.

We are surrounded by examples of how much we have to be thankful for…if we choose to see them.

The Most Important Things in Life Aren’t Things

If you look at the life advice shared by hospice patients, one lesson always stands out:

The most important things in life aren’t things. They’re people.

No one on their deathbed talks about their big homes, their promotions, or the money sitting in their bank accounts. Their regrets are almost always about love, relationships, and moments lost to distractions that never really mattered.

So why do we wait until it’s too late to start appreciating what we have?

Let’s not wait until we lose our gifts.